Haha no worries ^_^ Its okay. I haven't been on in a while holy shit! LOL. I'll start getting on more so you and I can still keep in contact k? ^_^
But yeah stop saying sorry ;D

Anyway...
Yeah :l Same here. I don't go to therapy anymore.
...Yeah I suppose your right. But wow, he said he didn't remember you? That's harsh. I bet that hurt a lot. :l
Oh, yeah, I know he has forgotten all about me. I know he has. God, the guy does drugs so he's probably 'long gone' by now. I once stopped him from doing drugs, but immediately as we stopped dating, he started doing drugs probably to piss me off because he found out I was cutting again. I stopped cutting and stuff for him because once he found out I did, and he said he lost his breath and felt "numb." He said he didn't cry, but he wanted to. It scared him because he thought maybe one day it "wouldn't be enough" for me and I might do something even worse. So I stopped for him. Then when we broke up, I couldn't help it and I went psycho. I went to school the next next day because I skipped the next day because I was so depressed I puked lol And my friend found them and spazzed on me too. But yeah... I know Luke probably has forgotten me. He blocked me from his email and shit, but on msn if you send someone mail it'll still go through. lol. So I send him emails on holidays. And it'll be his birthday soon. He'll be 20. I'll probably, once again, wish him a happy birthday. I just can't help it. I know he probably doesn't care and probably has forgotten me or will eventually forget me. I just can't help it. Maybe one day I will look him up again, but maybe not tell him who I am if he forgets, and just start over again. He fell in love with me once, maybe he can do it again. Maybe I won't fuck it up. But who knows. I probably won't ever hear from him again. But... I can't help but miss him. I do everyday. He was the first person and only person to atually ever make me feel truly loved in that sense. I don't think it'll ever happen again. And idk... Part of me just wishes if it did happen again it would be him. It's all silly of me, I know, because of what you said and stuff. But... my heart just tells me I can't let go. My heart just refuses to let go of him. Online or not, he meant so much to me... I guess it's just really hard. But I know I'll never forget him, even if I eventually move on. But I know I won't fully; it'll always be a sore spot. There is always going to be one person in everyone's lives that are going to impact them so greatly that you probably will compare them to others you meet. It just happens. I guess I'll be okay with it. ^_^ I just wish he cared and knew I still cared. But the fact that he knew I loved him still was what drove him away... It's really all my fault why he left...

I guess it's the other way around for me. lol.
In new news for me lately; I've "dropped" out of school. I'm going to home school. I ended up coming home one day crying and screaming, and I've been fighting with my parents a lot lately. I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of all the people at school; I have no friends really there except like 3 people. And only one of them speaks to me. lol. I get made fun of constantly at school, and my mum knows I get depressed a lot because I'm lonely. xD I remember when I was little I would even be terrified of going to school because I was scared of my teacher and everyone else and because I was lonely. I think I've mentioned this to you before lol. But yeah. I'm going to homeschool from now on. ^_^
I'm the only one really eh? Haha. I feel kind of special. ^.^ hehe.
Yeah... I have a best best best friend. She means the world to me. But I'm honestly scared to talk to her about stuff a lot. She always has these really rude opinions a lot. Well... I guess they aren't rude but I find them rude because they are so extremely opinionated. And she treats me like I'm stupid. She's extremely intelligent so I guess I feel "lesser" than her. But I still love her very much. She means the world to me.
There's a girl I know in person, though, that is probably like the girl I just spoke of but I'm not afraid to tell her anything. Her name is Brittney. She's the coolest person I've ever met lolol.
Awww thats cute! Is it the same now? Have you come to trust him yet? Seeing as its been like a month since I replied lol. And yeah ^_^ Thank you. I'm glad I'm getting there lol. No rush though. Trust me when you are ready, k? :)

AND AGAIN STOP WITH THE SAYING SORRY! XD LOL. ;D It's okay. ^_^Now I'm sorry though for not replying for like a month lol again, I'll try and check this site everyday for ya. :D if not, you can always reply to this through myspace if I end up forgetting. lol. I'm ALLLLWAYS on myspace. XD

Oh and btw, you going to the Mayhem Fest 09 this summer? ;) Cradle's not gonna be there, but a bunch of other badass bands are going lol My sister promised to take me as long as I went with her to Warped Tour. Uhg. Warped tour's lineup sucks ass. But oh well lol. At least I get to go to Mayhem :)