Dear Diary,

Today was most uneventful. I woke up once again riddled with the flu, hallucinating vividly about a big, blobby white shape, which was positioned above me - slightly to the left. I hid under the covers for a non-descript amount of time until I heard the cat heaving violently. If any sound were to raise me from comatose it would be the sound of a cat heaving violently as if it were about to empty the contents of its stomach over me and/or my bed covers. I don't usually allow people to deposit their bodily fluids on my bedspread without my prior consent, let alone animals. I guess I'm just eccentric like that. Before Mrs. Kitty could project a viscous brown liquid over me I shot up from where my face was crusting to the pillow and punted the feline across the room. As she flew in an arc, she managed to deviate from her logical physical trajectory due to the barf emitting from her mouth, causing her to spiral backwards after the break in inertia.


Furthermore:

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK GOAT.