Matt the Mortician Male Puyallup, WA United States: Share on Facebook Share Twitter

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Memento Mori

Greetings to all fellow CoF fans,

About Me:

I'm a Washington state licensed embalmer/funeral director and enjoy what I do for a living. My sense of humor is sick and twisted. So if you get offended easily then FUCK off. Secondly, I am an extremely proud father. I love my son more than a fat kid loves cake. In addition, I hate "emo" music; "emo" kids and fans, so if you're "emo" and looking at my profile fuck off!!! I've been a fan of Cradle of Filth ever since I heard " From the Cradle to Enslave" around '97 or '98. I was just completely fucking blown away!

Relationship Status: In a relationship

Checklist

Cynical: Yes

Sarcastic: Yes

Son of a bitch: Yes

Bastard: Yes

Asshole: Yes

Gentleman: Yes

I am all of these. Take me as I am with a grain of salt or be a little whiny bitch! Either way, I don't care.

Music:Metal, Hardcore, Metalcore pretty much anything except for shitty fucking Pop ,"Emo" , "Screamo" and really, really bad rap(i.e. the kind thats all about the 'bling, bling' and 'bitches and hoes') music.

Interests: Playing guitar; hanging out; going to shows; drinking booze and trying to be the best dad in the world for my son!

Movies: Horror,Thrillers;Comedies, etc

Contact via the Web:

Myspace : www. myspace.com/mattthemortician

Yahoo Instant Messenger: mpbembalmer81

AOL Instant Messenger:metalcore81

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?v=info&edit_info=all#/profile.php?id=1556239949&ref=profile

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Matt the Mortician's Videos

The Black Dhalia Murder-"Contagion"

Added by Matt the Mortician
Acid Bath-"Toubabo Koomi"

Added by Matt the Mortician
Death-"The Philosopher"

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Matt the Mortician's Blog

We Need More Gratuitous Guitar Solos!

As I was out running errands today. I found myself listening to Classic/Hard Rock radio station out here in the Seattle-Tacoma area. So to make a long story short, about the 6th song which was Whitesnake's "Still of the Night ". I found myself wondering what happened to the long, over the top , self-indulged and gratuitous guitar solos of old? I know Dragon Force has a penchant for over the top and flash but you never hear them on the radio( or at least here in my neck of the world ). Just a… Continue

Posted on March 10, 2009 at 1:17

The Original Black Metal band!

Posted on February 9, 2009 at 6:07

To hell with America!

I have officially had it with America. Between the majority of the population believing that President Obama is the messiah to liberal minded douchebags saying those of us here in the U.S proclaiming that making fun of people or making them learn the language( i.e English ) is some how a violation of their civil rights.

First off, I didn't vote for Obama. It has nothing to do with him being mixed. It had to do with the fact that he is inexperienced in regards to politics. That… Continue

Posted on February 9, 2009 at 5:56

Sometimes so true. Ha Ha Ha Ha

I think every " metal head " has experienced this every now and again...

Posted on December 29, 2008 at 21:36 — 1 Comment

To clarify what " emo " really is...

The term " emo " as many of us know it today, is not actually what it means. Bands like MCR, FOB, Panic at the Disco, Paramore, the list goes on, are not " emo ". Never have been and never will be. I just find it funny as hell, that all the little boys and girls, today actually think they are " emo " and so cool because of it.

"Emo" does not stand for " Emotional Hardcore " cause I think we can all agree, the aforementioned bands are definitely not hardcore in any way. Lame-YES,… Continue

Posted on December 28, 2008 at 18:00 — 3 Comments

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At 19:42 on March 18, 2009, King of Autumn, Crowned said…: Paddy's Day...yup, parades and entartainment in towns everywhere by the local community etc and a big one in Dublin. After that though, it's where we Irish turn stereotype into reality and drink ourselves into next month. Gardaí everywhere, underage kids drinkin on the street, old pubs full of old men in cardigans with huge beer-bellys drinking their Guinness, new pubs and night clubs full of everyone else drinking the bar dry. I, personally, spent my Paddy's Day night with me mates, in the wooded area of the locally dubbed "Heroine Park". Got meself fairly twisted :P Came in to school today with no hangoverbut I had whiplash for some reason....and I can't get Paramore's "Misery Business" out of my head......I HATE that song.....

At 4:09 on March 16, 2009, Shawn said…: who was that?

At 0:59 on March 16, 2009, Shawn said…: check this out

At 10:56 on February 9, 2009, Shawn said…: Id say so,lol

At 8:23 on February 9, 2009, Shawn said…: who is that in that picture right above,lol,, that kid has a girl clip in his hair,, I wish I could kick him through the computer

At 21:26 on February 5, 2009, King of Autumn, Crowned said…: Haha, sounds like a plan. I'm studyin for exams in July =[

At 18:53 on February 5, 2009, King of Autumn, Crowned said…: And Irish greetings to you ("Dia dhuit" if ye really wanted an Irish greeting :P). I've been good, tanx...dyin of a cold at the mo so not too great at the moment. Howr u? Any oul news?

At 6:37 on February 4, 2009, Shawn said…: thanks dude,, ok so now that I know what emo means, I fuckin hate those retarded motherfuckers too,, but I hate the singers in those bands even more,, I wish dani and satin would rape them and choke them to death with demon jizz

At 5:49 on February 4, 2009, Shawn said…: oh,,ok,, so like simple plan or some faggie shit like that, thats emo style

At 22:29 on February 3, 2009, 5erpentin3 said…: You still use this?
I forgot I had it till someone commented me lmao