Reasoning with vampires...(Twilight Mocking :P )

I'm aware there may be a divided collection of Twilight fans and haters here; I am certainly NOT a fan and never will be but I found this highly amusing and thought I'd share :p

 

Have a look at the archives and the FAQ are funny too.

 

http://reasoningwithvampires.tumblr.com/about

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Permalink Reply by Kevin Hall on August 25, 2011 at 11:29
Wahlberg out is good news at least! Well, with Cave, he can come up with some rather weird albeit sometimes morose shit at times, so just maybe it could be a sequel that is totally different in that way. Remember Nick Cave started as a poet doing the Melbourne club scene (not easy) then went on to songwriting with some success, so a diversion into screenwriting would be well inside his abilities.

Psychoscot said:
Wahlberg is no longer attached to the Crow remake as he's off making the movie of the video game Uncharted. Coopers name has been attached but not officially. It's all just rumours at present. Cooper would be very wrong for the part in my opinion, but then many said the same about Heath for the Joker, and look how that turned out.
Permalink Reply by Kevin Hall on August 25, 2011 at 11:33
If this is so, then, as Noods stated, the whole project is doomed ... meh ... as it well should be imo.

Psychoscot said:
He has written a draft of a script, and last I heard that had been thrown out as well in favour or something more commercial


Permalink Reply by Nutsack of Filth on August 25, 2011 at 12:25
He's written screenplays before.  The Proposition, for one, which was pretty good.  He also writes books.

Kevin Hall said:
Remember Nick Cave started as a poet doing the Melbourne club scene (not easy) then went on to songwriting with some success, so a diversion into screenwriting would be well inside his abilities.
Permalink Reply by Kevin Hall on August 25, 2011 at 19:19
Umm yeah, and acted too! I was actually hoping if a remake became official, Nick Cave's Script would be accepted.
Permalink Reply by Psychoscot on August 25, 2011 at 22:19
LOL Yeh I read he was to be Lucifer and didn't know where to cry or fall on the floor laughing. He REALLY can't act! But then a big budget version of Paradise lost? it will be so sanitised it will be utterly shit!

Noodle Vin Inferno said:

I'm glad Nick Cave won't have his name attached to something that's so obviously going to be terrible.

 

And Bradley Cooper should just fuck right off, the man is utterly talentless and they keep throwing him in everything.  Last I heard, he's also going to be playing Lucifer in a big-budget adaptation of Paradise Lost ... that's not even a joke:

http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/news/2011-07-20-bradley-cooper-...

 

This industry is fucking doomed.

 

Permalink Reply by Nutsack of Filth on August 25, 2011 at 22:28

I don't know how Bradley Cooper got to where he is now - ironically, he may have sold his soul to the devil.

 

It was bad enough that they turned Dante's Inferno into a dreadful God Of War rip-off video game, but now Paradise Lost?  BRADLEY FUCKING COOPER?

 

Actually now that I've said that, a little lightbulb has just appeared over some studio bod's head:  "Let's make The Divine Comedy into a movie trilogy!  With Will Smith as Virgil and Kellan Lutz as Dante.  And at some point they fight a giant spider (fiercest creature in the insect kingdom)!"

Psychoscot said:

LOL Yeh I read he was to be Lucifer and didn't know where to cry or fall on the floor laughing. He REALLY can't act! But then a big budget version of Paradise lost? it will be so sanitised it will be utterly shit!
Permalink Reply by Cassandra on August 26, 2011 at 0:32

Bradley Cooper is not attached to it anymore. He's focusing on Silver Linings Playbook and an upcoming adaptation of Paradise Lost.

 

An article I found said that Wahlberg is still attached to the story, but maybe what you found is recent.

The same article also said that they were considering Channing Tatum for the lead -___-

Psychoscot said:

Wahlberg is no longer attached to the Crow remake as he's off making the movie of the video game Uncharted. Coopers name has been attached but not officially. It's all just rumours at present. Cooper would be very wrong for the part in my opinion, but then many said the same about Heath for the Joker, and look how that turned out.
Permalink Reply by Cassandra on August 26, 2011 at 0:49

Here in the States, they are releasing a re-make of Footloose (which looks like utter shit). Also, there is another Hellraiser film in the works. Clive Barker was not happy about this. He posted this on Twitter:

"Hello, my friends. I want to put on record that the flic [sic] out there using the word Hellraiser is no fuckin' child of mine. I have nothing to do with the fuckin' thing. If they claim its from the mind of Clive Barker,it's a lie. It's not even from my butt-hole."

 

Ay, yi, yi.

Permalink Reply by Nutsack of Filth on August 26, 2011 at 1:13
I thought only Psychoscot would get that reference, but no, I was being hypothetical.  For me, Jon Peters (or the Kevin Smith representation of Jon Peters anyway) embodies the idea of everything that's wrong with Hollywood.

Lanval said:
Jon Peters is producing a Divine Comedy trilogy?
Permalink Reply by Nutsack of Filth on August 26, 2011 at 1:19

There really needs to be a big change in how much control an artist has over their own work - far too often things like this get bought up without any input or approval from the creator.  The most prominent example of this is Alan Moore, who I feel genuinely sorry for since he cares more than most people about the integrity of his work, yet has no choice but to watch mostly dreadful film adaptations (which completely miss the point) come out every few years of books which he (quite rightly) says are "unfilmable".  I really respect him for turning down the credit, valuing integrity over huge amounts of cash for simply attaching his name to it.

 

Another glaring herpe of an example is the upcoming Buffy movie - as far as I'm concerned, that belongs to Joss Whedon and Joss Whedon alone.  It makes me really sad that he has no choice but to accept that something he worked on with such passion for the best part of a decade will be bastardised by the talentless and unartistic hacks who unfortunately run the industry.

 

[/rant]

 

Cassandra said:

Also, there is another Hellraiser film in the works. Clive Barker was not happy about this. He posted this on Twitter:

"Hello, my friends. I want to put on record that the flic [sic] out there using the word Hellraiser is no fuckin' child of mine. I have nothing to do with the fuckin' thing. If they claim its from the mind of Clive Barker,it's a lie. It's not even from my butt-hole."

Permalink Reply by Psychoscot on August 26, 2011 at 19:26
He was attached as producer and also credited as the writer. Looks like they have screwed him over yet again! I bet they are watering it down to get a PG13 or 15UK certificate. 

Cassandra said:

Here in the States, they are releasing a re-make of Footloose (which looks like utter shit). Also, there is another Hellraiser film in the works. Clive Barker was not happy about this. He posted this on Twitter:

"Hello, my friends. I want to put on record that the flic [sic] out there using the word Hellraiser is no fuckin' child of mine. I have nothing to do with the fuckin' thing. If they claim its from the mind of Clive Barker,it's a lie. It's not even from my butt-hole."

 

Ay, yi, yi.

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