Illegal Immigration from United States into Mexico

Dear President Obama:

I'm planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico and I would like to ask
you to assist me. We're planning to simply walk across the border from
the U.S. into Mexico, and we'll need your help to make a few
arrangements. We plan to skip all the legal stuff like passports,
immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same
way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President
Calderon, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be
expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.
5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their
school.
7. Please, plan to feed my kids both breakfast and lunch at school.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but, I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I
probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from
their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car
has at least one English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U S. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or
negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws
enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say critical
things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on
their economy.
14. I want to receive free food stamps.
15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.
16. I'll need income tax credits so although I don't pay Mexican taxes, I'll receive money from
the government.
17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican government pays $4,500 to help me buy a new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that
I'll get a monthly income at retirement.
I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who
walk over to the U.S. from Mexico. So, I am sure that President Calderon
won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely. Thank you so much
for your kind help. U DA MAN!!    

Tags: english, illegal, immigration, mexico, obama, president

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Scott Milliorn on May 26, 2010 at 6:12
LOL classic South Park.

Sean's Inferno said:
DEY TUK UR JAWBS!!!!
Permalink Reply by Daisy de la Luna on May 27, 2010 at 19:28
You never change, do you dear?
Permalink Reply by Inhuman Affliction on April 27, 2011 at 0:15

Whoa. Were was this?

 

All these points are reasonable and I think it's sort of important for people to realize all this, but I just say fuck it. I would say it doesn't affect and I don't care, you know that's life. Excluding all the money spent. How it got this far is beyond me. This country is fucked and too deeply fucked to save it. Lets just hope the world ends next year.

Permalink Reply by Inhuman Affliction on April 27, 2011 at 0:16
Love it.

Scott Milliorn said:
LOL classic South Park.

Sean's Inferno said:
DEY TUK UR JAWBS!!!!
Permalink Reply by Scott Milliorn on April 27, 2011 at 0:17
Its my form of satire, to show people the reflection in the mirror so to speak, and wake up to the damage this is causing, and how NO country in the world would condone or support this, but we Americans are that messed up in the head.
Permalink Reply by Daisy de la Luna on May 2, 2011 at 18:29

Hello Scott, a fun fact for you:

In Mexico you cannot get citizenship unless your mother and father have citizenship themselves.

Also, you pay a huge fine.

 

Permalink Reply by GRU on May 2, 2011 at 21:31

As a Mexican who was born here in the States and had parents cross the border LEGALLY back in the mid 60s, I completely agree with you Scott.

Permalink Reply by Daisy de la Luna on May 2, 2011 at 23:37

Random question:

So, your parents came here legally, yes?

Do they have citizenship or one of those green cards?

:) My granpa has dual citizenship but my grandmother only has the little green card.

GRU said:

As a Mexican who was born here in the States and had parents cross the border LEGALLY back in the mid 60s, I completely agree with you Scott.

Permalink Reply by Semi-Dea on May 21, 2011 at 1:01
A-ha-ha! Reminds me of Russians in The USA or Georgians in Russia. Incredibly good stuff to show people who they really are!
Permalink Reply by Psychoscot on May 21, 2011 at 1:11
Sounds like Britian under the rule of Labour! Although to be fair the Conservatives have so far let me down and haven't fully implemented the immigration policy they promised.
Permalink Reply by GRU on May 22, 2011 at 9:27
Citizenship of course. haha

Daisy de la Luna said:

Random question:

So, your parents came here legally, yes?

Do they have citizenship or one of those green cards?

:) My granpa has dual citizenship but my grandmother only has the little green card.

GRU said:

As a Mexican who was born here in the States and had parents cross the border LEGALLY back in the mid 60s, I completely agree with you Scott.

Permalink Reply by Scott Milliorn on May 22, 2011 at 9:30
Many that have green cards/visa's get them to legally cross over, but never renew them.

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